Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Can we just get over it already????

Saw this today...



I laughed, then got teary-eyed that these two cuties have to fight to marry.

I remember being in sixth grade, thinking I was cool but truly naive as all get out.   Everyone whispered all through Mr. Harris' math class..."Mr. Harris is gay."

I ran into piano lessons.   I had no idea what gay was.  I tell my teacher, the ultra cool Mrs. Morgan.  She didn't blink. She said, "Look, I can tell, you're going to be a musician.  Everyone who signs your paycheck is either going to be gay or Jewish, so get over it."

I sat in shock.  I didn't know what gay was, but they signed pay checks, they can't be all bad!

And, as usual, she was right.  On all counts.

I sat looking at this picture.  How many hours, how many dollars, how many clenched jaws and spewed rhetoric is spent on this?

I looked at all my mail about "women's rights" and the battle going on and on.  I honestly don't get how people want women to not have abortions on one hand, and not two seconds later are opposing legislation supporting birth control saying it is irrelevant.

Okay, I don't get that one even a little, sorry.

I understand the passion, really do.  I appreciate both sides of the "argument", both "arguments".   Really do.

But, can we just get over it?   Can we just agree to disagree, keep the darned law out of it, and put our efforts where they are needed?

Marriage wasn't all that great for me, but thinking about two lovers who can't make that commitment, why is that my business?  You have two consenting adults.  Not a girl and a goat.

I don't get it.

You don't think women should have abortions, I can support that.  I may not agree, but I can support that.   I can't support you trying to manipulate the law.  I can't support you forcing me, forcing women, to live by your beliefs.

I would respect you so much more if you took that effort and millions of dollars flowing around and put it to supporting the women, girls.  Spent it on family planning, counselling, and most of all making sure every child you so wanted to be here was well taken care of.

Last week one of my young singers just didn't show.  No phone call, no e mail.  I had a line up after her, and was starving, and kept thinking if I grabbed something to eat, that's when they'd pull up.

Finally, twenty minutes late, I call.  The singer answered and in a cavalier way said, "Oh yeah, I'm not coming."

I waited for an apology for a day or three.  I finally wrote to the mother.  I get back this mail that she was helping a teen who was pregnant and trying to convince her to "do the right thing."

Her parents had kicked her out when they heard the happy news.  I don't approve by any means.  On the other hand, I've been young and pregnant out of wedlock and alone, and I've also seen many grandparents giving up their retirement years to chase after a toddler or two.   A dose of reality might not have been the worst thing that could have happened, not that I would ever want to do that.

I thought, "Gee, you are so focused on convincing this girl to bring another life into the world, alter her life, you forgot the girl in front of you."

How much I would respect all these people trying to force me to give birth if they took all that beautiful effort and resources and spent them on community aid.

How different would this country be without this backstabbing, right wrong, left, right, venom and instead we agreed that we will never all agree on much, but let's work together and make this the best place on earth to live.

You aren't going to stop abortion.  It's been going on since the ancient Greek days.  You can't force all women to give birth.  We will find a way.  We will find unhealthy, illegal ways and kill ourselves.  Is this loving life, to force this?   I remember the days before legal abortion.  I knew several girls who snuck off, and stories of women becoming infertile, dying.

I used to sing with a beautiful soul and she was involved with adoption.  She would bring in notebook after notebook, organizing, children looking for a home.

What a beautiful place if we could put our efforts, our focus, into what we agree on....this shouldn't be.  Support the teen moms, support the mentally ill faced with screaming babies, support the single mom who has to decide between her medication and groceries.

We can do it.  Just a simple shift.  Agree to disagree.  Agree the law is nowhere to wage this battle.  Convince me, convince women, by showing compassion instead of gnarled teeth.   Convince me by showing how you will support me if I decide you are right and I have that child.

When the boys were toddlers and wanting to scream about something, I would get a pained look, easy to do, and say, "I want to understand what you are upset about, but my ears close when I hear yelling.  Help!"

They would calm down, we would talk.

Please, get past my closed ears.  Please help me get past yours!

I woke up this morning with this beautiful feeling, that we are going to walk into a new time.  This silly battling.  I pass this law, you pass that one, send out e mails, get donations, clever banter, okay, not so clever banter, venom, hatred, working out other "stuff" under the guise of political issues......

It melted away.  Adults, real adults, sat down.  Looked at the picture.
Realized in this universe in order for something to be true, the exact opposite will also be true.  What can we agree on so we can walk forward in peace, each taking care of our part?

As a man thinks, so he becomes.   I have a new vision.  Melted away are the needs to be right or wrong,  our guiding light is what is best for all.

Let consenting adults marry, and let a woman have domain over her body.

Inform us of your beliefs, better yet, let us see them in positive action, making the world a better place.

Take it to the streets, and show both sides are full of compassion and we share the goal of wanting to make this the best country, the very best place to live that we possibly can.






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