Tooth Fairy....oh let me........

Just had some fun.....

http://www.writersdigest.com/prompts/the-tooth-fairy-is-a-thief#comment-206621

Here's the prompt

Your Weekly Writing Prompt

The Tooth Fairy is a Thief
The Tooth Fairy visits your house in the middle of the night, only she isn't just taking your children's teeth. What is she stealing from your house and how do you attempt to stop her?

Post your response (500 words or fewer) in the comments here:
The Tooth Fairy is a Thief

And here's what I wrote so you don't have to click...

*******************************************************

That freaking fracking man stealing piece of enamel glitzy glamor useless piece of flying white trash.

She comes back here, she’ll be needing those teeth alright.

She stole my Joe.  Didn’t think it possible.  How the freaking fat firetruckin heck do you steal a Spirit Guide?   Love to find the tiny fairy scissors she found for this job, cutting him out of my heart, my life.  Didn’t think it could be done.

I hate skinny shiny tiny fitches.  All that glitter and giggling, like he can’t see through that crap??

Joe...my Joe...met him in a Reiki session.  He just popped in my mind, guiding me, showing me how to make the energy flow better, adding his.  Tall Indian dude.  I thanked him, asked him his name.  He told me.  At least fifteen syllables, all of them not to say while eating popcorn...I tried thanking him, saying his name.  He laughed and said, “Just call me Joe.”

We had a Toyota van.  Joe would tell me, “You hear me say, “NOW” I want you to get on the floor.  No questions.”    Well, sheesh, how about you use your super duper powers, and we just not go there?

Sure enough, one day, the Sheep and Wool Festival in Columbia, wasband is driving, I’m in the passenger seat, I hear “NOW”.    I get down.  Van turns over onto the roof, going seventy miles an hour.

The policeman got choked up in the hospital, over and over, asking me “Did you have your seat belt on?”   Sheesh, yeah, just been through all that, give me a ticket too, make the day complete.

I don’t like to lie, but come on already!  The nice man had tears in his eyes.  He said, “I’m sorry, but if you had been in that seat, your head would be out the window and would have been crushed.  You wouldn’t be here.”

That’s Joe.

He would visit me in my dreams, love me, tell me things that were happening.  His laugh, you felt it in every molecule.

Then the boys started losing their teeth.  She would come.  A little flitter of Light, checking in on the boys, she was fascinated with watching children grow.   She never actually took the teeth or left quarters, but the ritual brought her in just to watch and kiss their heads with a tiny sparkle shower of Light.

Joe laughed at her.  “What’s with her?”   “Beats me.  I never thought I’d see the tooth fairy for real.”   “Yeah, like that’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen.”  “Well, there’s you for starts.”  Oh, that laugh...like God dancing in your cells.

Then I noticed he’d talk to her, fascinated, talk to me about the things she said.  She liked oriental teeth.  So?   

But then, both boys had lost molars...she came, she seemed different, flashier, her light had a lot of purple and bright pink.  She whispered something to Joe and he just said, “Wow.”  and he wouldn’t say anything to me.

An hour later, I fell asleep.  He came to me.  Whispered, ‘Darling, I’ll be back.  Might not be this life, but we’ll be back together soon.  Take care.”

I woke up, startled...”HUH???”   And I saw her giggling, him following....and even in the fairy world you can’t trust the skinny ones.   What the heck does she need with my guy with all those bicuspids in the world?

I ask you...what??

And now, I have to be a mom, get the mail, let the cat in, with leaking eyes and knees that won’t work.